It’s amazing how much we don’t actually know about ourselves until we take a closer look in the mirror. Until we somewhat ‘undo’ our lives and go from who we think we are, to move into authenticity.
For years, I was the exact opposite of authentic. I wore a mask that suited whatever occasion presented itself. Noone knew…they thought I had the perfect life.
The reality was that I struggled with perfectionism. I compared myself to everyone and had to (at least look like) things were amazing in my world. I parented like a boss, had dinner parties, excelled in business and generally had the life that people dreamed of.
What they didn’t know is that I was obsessed with details. Consumed by making the good or great, even better. ‘Good’ simply wasn’t good enough and I would re-do, re-write or re-whatever needed to be done until I felt that it was perfect.
The problem is, that it never is perfect.
When you’re a perfectionist, it creates a tremendous amount of stress trying to achieve the unachievable. In addition to this, being a perfectionist is incredibly isolating because you are constantly hiding yourself…hiding behind who you think you should be…and leaving authenticity far behind.
Overcoming perfectionism or giving up perfectionist tendencies can be challenging so you need to prepare yourself for a bumpy ride.
Knowing how to master your negative self-talk is crucial when it comes to overcoming perfectionism. In fact, perfectionism happens when we listen to the repetitive negative thoughts in our minds. If we manage to become more self-aware of our inner critic, we’ll get one step closer to overcoming perfectionism.
Where Does Perfectionism Come From?
One of the most common reasons we turn into perfectionists is because of a critical parent or caregiver. Sometimes, even an overly critical teacher can turn on that switch. But to be honest, it can be any experience that left an imprint on us.
This switch is the one that makes us feel that nothing we do is ever good enough. That, to be accepted, we need to be perfect or at least strive for that. (This is the definition of high-achievers.)